I think im going to throw up on grandma
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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