At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
