I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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