I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
