I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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