She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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