Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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