I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
