Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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