what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
