the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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