so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
