Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize