They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
