Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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