Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
