I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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