what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
