This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
