from now on my penis is your penis
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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