i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
