she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Damn victory sex feels great
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
