My sheets look like a crime scene.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
