Apparently you make a good broom.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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