So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
