just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
