And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
