He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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