And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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