I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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