i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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