TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
