Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
