I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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