You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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