Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
