...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hippo gnu deer
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
