dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
