summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize