she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
