so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
