I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
