If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
