All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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