Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
