the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
