you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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