I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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