o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
