I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
