I can't watch pbs sober anymore
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
