i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
