I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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