you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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