There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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