I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize