no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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