I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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