he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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