Say something about gay babies.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
God, I missed his penis.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
