you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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