hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
