am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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