so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
