That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
