I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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