we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
