she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
