Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
